Jessica and Jillian's Story

My name is Ellen Auer and my husband Jim and I have 1 beautiful son named Jason, aged 2. In July of 2003, we found out that we were expecting again and about 6 weeks later, we found out that we were expecting twins!! How exciting to be expecting twins. Everybody including ourselves were so excited! By October, we found out that they were identical twins and by November 6th, we found out that they were girls. How unbelievable to be having twins, but identical girls, that would be so much fun! One of the girls was an ounce bigger than the other and the doctors told us of the threat of TTTS.

They had me come back for another ultrasound in 3 weeks rather than 4 weeks. The day before Thanksgiving, 2003, I was to go in for a routine ultrasound alone with my son, then run to the airport to get my sister who was flying in for Thanksgiving, then prepare for the big feast that was to be at our house the next afternoon. Our world came crashing down. It still echoes in my head, "I'm sorry honey, but there are no heartbeats" the ultrasound technician said.

The twins didn't make it and I had to call my husband to get to the hospital asap. They were delivered at 12:15am, 11/27/03 and were only 5 and 6 ounces at birth. We named them Jessica and Jillian. We couldn't bear to hold them or look at them. Our hospital has their pictures and footprints on file in a memory book for us if we're ever ready. Our hospital took care of the burial. It all happened so fast and the grief came on it seemed for months. It still hasn't ended.

We are expecting another child due in early Jan, but will most likely arrive in December. My husband was planning on getting a vasectomy after the birth of the twins. Maybe the twins died for this baby that's now on the way?? It helps give me solace when I think of it this way. Everything happens for a reason.

Regards,

Ellen Auer St. Louis, Missouri